A Question for You

Have you ever had a song that you absolutely loved? One you played on repeat, over and over, until the feeling it gave you started to fade? Eventually, that song no longer held the same magic, and soon enough, you found yourself drawn to the next song that brought back that sense of excitement. But after some time, that one, too, began to lose its luster. Have you ever wondered why?

This cycle is a pattern called hedonic adaptation. In essence, hedonic adaptation helps us adapt to change—so that bad things feel less painful over time and good things feel, well, a little less great. Eventually, we return to our “baseline” well-being, regardless of what happens in our external world.

But here’s the challenge: for some, maybe even for you, that baseline may feel uninspiring, even unfulfilling. As a well-being coach, I find that hedonic adaptation is both a barrier and a doorway to authentic well-being. Too often, we look to external sources—the latest tech, social media, even relationships—to elevate our happiness. And yet, because of hedonic adaptation, those sources rarely sustain the joy we hope they will. We’re left searching, yearning for the next “green pasture.”

In my practice, I call these temporary highs “false happiness.” False happiness lures us with promises of fulfillment but brings us back to the same baseline we’ve tried to escape. It’s what we’re often drawn to when we buy new things, endlessly scroll, or reach for yet another source of excitement. These sources may feel like paths to greener grass, but they often lead us back to the same sense of “not quite enough.”

So, you may wonder: if so many things bring false happiness, how do we find authentic happiness? How do we raise our baseline of well-being in a lasting way? It’s possible—very much so—but often it’s found within, not on the other side of any fence. True well-being begins with personal reflection, asking yourself where, what, and how you seek joy.

Clue #1: Authentic Happiness

Remember that song you once loved, then let go of, only to rediscover years later with the same excitement as the first time you heard it? It became timeless for you. Think of something in your life that has that same enduring quality—something you always come back to. If you’re struggling to recall, try thinking back to childhood: what made you curious, what ignited your joy, what made your friendships come alive?

Explore this more in a video on hedonic adaptation and how to cultivate authentic happiness: Hedonic Adaptation

Clue #2: Creating a “Durable Sense of Well-being”

Looking for more insights? This video offers ideas on fostering a lasting sense of well-being: A Durable Sense of Well-being